


Direction

by citylightsrestlessnights



Category: Becoming Jane, Interpol, X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-29
Updated: 2017-03-27
Packaged: 2018-03-20 04:07:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3636090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/citylightsrestlessnights/pseuds/citylightsrestlessnights
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This story is written from the point of view of the two female leading characters: Bianca and Natalie. Music, theater, the meaning of life and fighting your own demons, this is what it's all about.</p><p>We hope you enjoy!</p><p>Ivonne and Diana</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Bianca**

I don’t even know why I’m auditioning for this. I don’t have the looks and certainly I’m not experienced in these classic plays they pretend me to put me in. Scholars. Blame it on myself, I can’t seem to handle one thing at a time, I can’t even seem to handle myself in a situation like this. Everyone looks so cocky… This casting is boring, having a smoke would  do good for the nerves or anxiousness, however you want to call it. People stand up on the stage and make all kinds of histrionic movements, as if they were in some contemporary dance thing… go leave that for the jugglers in central park. I definitely need a smoke. 

“Bianca Lowe?”

Great, there’s no time for a relieving smoke. Let’s nail this however we can, in the end this is what I was born for.

“Hi, hello” These three “judges” look weird. One of them is really short, chubby and with pink cheeks. The other one is totally opposite, he is slim, tall, blonde, he is kind of cute. The next one seems pretty normal, average, except for those sparkling blue eyes. I bet they are looking at my hair, as if they hadn’t seen a lady with astounding pinkish hair. I don’t even know why I’m auditioning for this.

“Which of the two parts did you prepare for today?” The Chubby one asks.

“Well, I prepared both even when I didn’t like them that much.” There goes the audition. Why does my tongue has to be faster than my brain?

“Then, do the one you dislike most. Surprise us, Lady Lowe.” The skinny one is mean. Sparkly blue eyes says nothing, but he’s staring with interest, maybe it is the hair. 

“Off we go!” then I get prepared. I can do this, I studied for this. I don’t even know why I’m here, the rush of adrenaline is coming.

***

The audition was a disaster, I wasn’t born to play Electra, certainly. Greek theater has always been boring for me, oh the pain it was to play Antigone when I was in college. I do pity these guys. Anyway, bills don’t get paid on their own and again, I have to look for another apartment or place to stay. This is the second time in the month I need to move. No I have no idea of what I’m going to do, I have a fortnight to leave the place I’m staying in, I ran out of options of friend’s houses, not that I have many anyway. 

At least I have two other jobs.  My concern is about time and how to handle it, not money. Which reminds me I have to go back to the theater, I left the scrip for the musical there. As you may see, I’m a little distracted, I never mean to, my mind and my limbs work faster than my spirit. I struggle. 

As I walk my way back to the theater I meet, crash, bump into Sparkly blue eyes, who’s coming out from the theater almost running.  When he sees me is like he’s seen a ghost. 

“You!”

“Me!” 

“I was looking for you!” He’s so agitated that he could barely talk. His accent sounds like from somewhere else but New York. The black jacket he’s got with that gray scarf makes him look way older, inside he looked like another student. 

“Don’t tell me I got the part because it would be oh so surprising considering that I was a total wreck” Don’t let me be misunderstood, but, I really didn’t want that part, I wasn’t even completely there. 

“No you didn’t… I mean… I have an offer, a different one. I’m planning to write a play, a monolog. I think you’re PERFECT for the part.” Clear, pure scottish accent, it is like a melody for my ears. I’m in love with accents, what can I say. 

“If you’re offering me a job, you’re saving my life!” There goes my tongue again. The truth is, I really need this. I need to keep my mind busy with something and the more I do, there more I forget about the mess my life is, unconsciously, because of me. “I’m sorry… I have this problem… what’s your name?” I’m not good with names, but I won’t intend to call this man Sparkly blue eyes, even when I will end up doing it, that’s how my mind works, main associations.

“I apologize by the rush. Name’s James McAvoy. I’m a scriptwriter and professor here at Tisch.”

“Good to know! My name is-“

“Bianca Lowe, I know.” The accent… it even rhymes, I like his voice, is fresh. “I’ve seen part of what you’ve done so far, it’s impressive.” I didn’t know I had fans, this is new for me. A professor who knows my work and is offering me a job. Right now, it seems like James McAvoy comes into my life with providential solutions to my problems, or at least, part of them.

 

 

* * *

**Natalie**

This feeling won’t let me be. No, I’m not in love but I feel heartbroken. That’s why I run, I run to do the only thing I know: make other’s dreams come true on stage. That’s why I got to the Frederic Loewe theater to see what I got myself into.

I just finished one of the best projects I’ve ever done in the Midtown theater circuit: a simple play without dialogues, it was created by an anonymous author but with the collaboration in the original music and arrangements by Rick Rubin, yes the music producer. After U2 I don’t know my father managed to convince him of that, and I have no idea on how I got my father to make me be on the production. That was the little thing that made The Tisch Drama School of the NYU call me and give me this theater as my first independent project. 

The theater is wonderful. Medium size, perfect to do, literally, anything. I can’t make another blockbuster hit, it is impossible because I don’t have all the contacts, the time or the experience. But James’ idea caught me and I knew it was perfect… Perfect for a theater that has it’s own audience amongst college students and artists that look for different experiences.

The NYU Tisch School put two conditions. First, they don’t have the budget, they only give me the place, so I can forget about money coming from the school. Second, I can’t work with ANY writer, it has to be a professor that’s art of the staff. They gave me a package of 20 scripts and ideas, I wasted my weekend reading them. 

My time. As if I had anything better to do. While, on a saturday night half of New Yorkers are partying hard, having sophisticated reunions and drinking Dom Perignon, I am at home, drinking tea with a little Jack Daniel’s on it as I read theater scripts that seem to be written by students and not by the ones who teach and educate future writers and actors.

But James McAvoy’s idea didn’t leave me alone the whole weekend, which is the first sign of something good going on behind the page and a half that I have in my hands. Yes, a page and a half only. I’ve been giving it some thought and I’m not sure if I’m too crazy to sign with a writer who’s idea is half written, unfinished. I’m giving this all my best and I’m betting all I have.

“James McAvoy?” - I ask as I’m standing on the Loewe’s stage with my smartphone on one hand.

“That’s me.” A strong accent I can’t seem to identify. Suddenly I remember that the faculty’s secretary told me about him one day, as I made my usual and exhaustive research of the people I’m going to work with. She told me he was one of the most beloved teachers in the school and he came from Scotland.

“This is Natalie Weiner, I’m the new producer for the Frederic Loewe theater”.

“Eh… sorry, I don’t know you.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not a Tisch teacher. I’m an external producer, I’ve been given the Loewe’s next project. The faculty gave me your script… Well, the synopsis of a play you’re planning and I know you are PERFECT for my plans”.

There’s a silence in the line. It gives me time to think that in two simple sentences his accent is charming, if he writes as he speaks the play will be a total hit. But the ideal on a telephone call is that the other one speaks too.

“Are you there professor McAvoy?”

“Ehee…” I listen to a nervous laughter mixed with his already charming accent - “Call me James”.

“Perfect, James. How is your schedule today? I’d like to meet up with you as soon as you can, if possible, right now. I’m at the Loewe. The truth is, one page and a half makes me think the idea is good but I want to see what else you have to offer. And also, I might tell you about my plans. Should I wait for you?”

“Wow… Is this serious?… aaaah… you get me by surprise”

I laugh a little. I get the impression that the idea and the play are not common because the author is not common either. That’s exactly what I want for my project, I’m more convinced than ever.

“Don’t worry, is the usual when you work with me. Should I wait for you?”

“Uh, yeah! Give me 15 minutes and I’ll be there.”

“Perfect, I look forward to meet you James”.

I start walking through the stage and I try to imagine how it all will look the day of the premiere. Full of people, whispering and waiting for the actress to come out and let it all out in front of them. It all, just to hear them applaud endlessly: my biggest price. 

“Natalie?”

I open my eyes a little bit embarrassed, I think I look like a teenager in love, daydreaming. I find professor McAvoy: good looking, with bright eyes and dressing with a perfect combination of white shirt, jeans and black jacket and tie. I do think he is the professor all female students would drool for. 

The thing that catches my eyes is how his face reflects his excitement, excitement beyond mine. With the nervous laughter that deceives him he comes up the stage, looks around, passes a hand through his hair, laughs, and passes it again but against his jean and extends it to me.

“Hello, James McAvoy.”

I shake hands with him and I feel like he’s an old friend I haven’t seen in so long. I love when I get this kind of feeling with the people I’m going to work with!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fate starts playing games with our heroines as everything configures for a magical play...

**Bianca**

I hate rehearsals for a reason: repetition gets me bored. Here I am, standing in the middle of the scenario repeating the same lines over and over. In growing out of this project, as it usually happens with me. I don’t talk much about this, but I have this “disease” called Attention Deficit Disorder. I do many things but finish none, I have to active all the time otherwise I go crazy and get frustrated, sometimes I even get depressed. It causes me lot of trouble at work and in my personal life; I don’t want this, the simple idea of taking medications again scares me, I don’t feel myself at all when taking them. That’s why I keep on doing so much, I want to keep myself busy. I love my job but I need fast paced projects so I don’t leave them in the middle of the way…

But enough of my chat. I’m here, right now, in a rehearsal. Where is Daniel? He should be here, he said he was going to be here to check that the music was going fine… I’m in a musical, and Daniel Kessler is the music director of this project, I’ve known him for a quite long time, we studied together at Tisch, he’s the elder brother I’ve never had, even when I have three, but they are a whole different story.

Finally, I spot him sitting in the back of the theater. He’s wearing one of his typical black suites with a gray plaid tie. He loves ties, he’s got this thing for looking sophisticated, I do feel a little bad standing next to him, my eclectic look crashes against his english/french lush. I wave at him trying to stand in my spot, if I move the director will scold me, as usual. He waves back, no smile on his face, not that I was expecting one anyway.

Can we finish this, please? The only fun thing today in the rehearsal is the dancing. I do feel like dancing today. Then somehow, I lose track of the time and finally we are done. I love when this happens, I can get deep into things and come out of them in a nutshell. I take my bag and walk towards Daniel who’s reading some papers… scores?

“You won’t believe what happened to me today…”

“I know I won’t, everything that happens to you is extraordinary, Bianca” He answers without taking his eyes away from the papers.

“This scriptwriter I met at Tisch today offered me the spot to be the main character on his play. His name is James Mc… something… How cool is that?! Aren’t you happy?” Come on, this are great news! He just sits there, stares at me with his green eyes and that smirk I know. Once you get to know Daniel you understand that the smirk he uses is different depending on the situation, this one is of disbelief. 

“I’m happy as long as you keep doing what you should and it is to stay away from clubbing.” There he goes again. One cannot have a little fun, his words sometimes act like knives, he found out that I got kicked from the place where I’m staying and it all by arriving at nonsensical hours. I need to have fun!

“That is one thing you will never stop me from doing. I just need to find a new place.” I answer nonchalantly. He looks at me and rolls his eyes, it is like a childish manner he has, even wearing a suit he looks like a kid doing that gesture.

“Don’t be so childish. You still enjoy noise and crowds? How can you keep doing this the rest of your life?” He asks, annoyed.

“I do. I always will. You need a rock and roll dose. You should come tonight to this gig…”

“No way.”

“Why not? You’ll meet musicians! You need to meet people, you know, relate! You’re such a grandfather…” I could not help it, he gives me this look that could bury me 6 feet underground. I shouldn’t have said that, when it comes to his life and the way he leads it I’ve discovered he’s a little overprotective.

“If I’m such a grandfather I have the right to… ORDER YOU… to go back home and not go to that ‘gig’. Learn your lines. Study!”. Yes, he’s mad, knowing him like I know him he will drive me home just to make sure I stay there… I hate when he treats me like a little girl!

 

* * *

 

**Natalie**

We are sitting with James at the edge of the stage, looking to the horizon, thinking about the future. The emotions of the theater are not only for the assistants, they do come from the guts of everyone who works and plays a part on the play. And at this moment, I’m with the nervous but always smiling Mr. McAvoy, thinking about what we want to offer to the audience.

James’ idea, that’s in this page and a half, conquered my heart, it is lady Macbeth’s monologue. I love Shakespeare. Nobody is so contemporary and timeless, nobody’s so perfect and his works will always be a challenge for a producer, not only for respect towards the author: you have to convince people that it is worth it to go beyond Romeo and Juliet.

Of all the female Shakespeare characters, Lady Macbeth is the most powerful one, and the one who falls from grace. I want to show myself to the world as an independent producer, and it implies a position. The most captivating thing of this adaptation is that it is an exploration of the deep and mysterious female soul, coming from a male mind. What James proposes, is the violent discovery of what it is to be a woman.

He breaks the silence and gets me out from my thoughts with I think is gonna be a nice constant: his voice with strong scottish accent.

“Natalie, can you remind me your last name?”

“Weiner”

“Mmm… Sounds familiar.” This cannot be, here we go. “Are you related to Lior Weiner?”

“He’s my father”

And this is the moment when I see the reaction of everyone who finds out. James smiles with excitement, he brings both hands to his face and holds an “oh” inside. Part of me taking this project has to do with the fact that I’m tired of living under the shadow of my father. Don’t get me wrong, I love him but I need to show that I’m an excellent producer and not because of my last name.

“It’s fantastic! I can’t believe I’m talking to the daughter of the legendary Weiner. The one who’s created the greatest plays in the last 10 years here in New York… This is…”

“James” I try to say with the most calmed tone. “This is my first independent project, and it is independent in every single way. Including my father’s fame. Now it is just you and me and the fantastic idea you had.”

I see how he passes his hand through his hair and uses his hands to explain himself. This man speaks with his body, he’s really sincere, I think he’s incapable of lying, his body would deceive him immediately. But at the same time he’s a theater script writer, a great liar. A total character.

“I’m sorry. I should’ve started by saying that what I admire most is the work you did as a producer in the latest midtown play. I went with some students, it was a wonderful night and it inspired me somehow to develop this idea.”

“That’s what I want to talk about with you. Is there anything else you’ve written about it?”

At that moment, for the first time I see James serious, he stopped smiling. He frowns a little and looks down, few seconds later he stares at me and replies.

“The idea is here and I know it works, but…”

“You have writer’s block, right?”

I’ve seen artists come and go since I can remember and I’ve come to learn to see when an actor is in the best part of his improvisation, when a musician doesn’t have any clue of what to do with a chord that’s not in place, and also, to know when a writer knows that he has this big idea he cannot even behold it to write it down. That’s what’s happening to James, this might be his greatest work so far and he doesn’t want to spoil it.

“Don’t fret James. When I told you that I thought that your play was perfect, for me, for this theater, for this project, is because it is. It’s perfect. But it is time to move and start working.”

He smiles and rubs his hands.

“I want to do something transgressive. Lady Macbeth’s issue is that she generates this sexual terror, it is the only Shakespeare character that does. And I have the perfect actress for this role”

I’m surprised he’s got this vision and analysis so clear, only a few dramaturges see it and understand it. Professor McAvoy is a talented man. I will make this clear now: He’s not my type. I can’t deny he’s attractive and his blue eyes can melt anybody, but I feel him more like a close friend, a confident, and I like to have smart minds around. This is more of a professional admiration than anything else.

“We’ll do something incredible. I’m impressed of the role of music in this and I think…” He nods with me and interrupts me all of the sudden.

“If there is something that is transgressive is rock music. That’s why it is so vital.” He closes his eyes with emotion, I think, for a moment, he might hug me. “Natalie, I’m so glad you understand what I want. I can’t wait to start!”

“Yes, but first we have to finish up the idea. You have to finish writing. By now I will make arrangements with Tisch. All the legal and money matters. But I want to speak to you and the actress. I want you to bring a specific proposal, not only for me, for the team, which in the end is going to be you, me, the actress and a good musician.”

I feel a little bit of insecurity when I say the word “proposal”, but I really need it. My work is to produce and emotions alone won’t give any results. Where is my purse? I run to look for it, I come back and sit next to him. My purse is a whole universe of disorder, but it is mine and I always have lots of things there. I’m looking for the card keeper, I find it and handle him two cards, one for him and another one for the actress.

“James, there’s something amazing here. Not only in this theater, in everything. Our Lady Macbeth will be more than a total success. It will be the future.”

Not it is me the one who wants to hug him, but I decide just to shake hands with him. He laughs and takes it. We laugh like two happy and dreamy fools. But my mind reminds me of what it is to start a new play: in the end it is not Tisch what worries me, nor the money. My Lady Macbeth needs a good musician. There are millions in New York, but I need one that fits the shoe, my shoe. That is going to be the real problem. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A meeting turns out to be disappointing and then all the chips fall where they should.

**Natalie**

Music is part of my life as well as theater. That’s why, when I started working with my father, I chose to only make plays that imply a strong musical connection and accent. I’m not speaking of Broadway, I’m speaking of plays in which the musical element goes with the acting, more than being a simple instrument of the actors, the music is an actor itself.

That’s why at home, in my studio, you’ll always find soundtracks. My favorite will always be West Side Story, especially Maria’s parts -but the original one, not the dubbed one. But, again, I’ve spent three days hearing almost 200 demos and the conclusion is the same as when I was reading the Tisch proposals: dreadful. It seems like musicians are losing their time sending demos in colorful CDs instead of playing and rehearsing. 

I’m well known by being tough with this. Is not that there’s nothing respectable, I kept some thinking about future projects, but I’m looking for something specific: yes, it is rock, but it must be dark, heartrending, that makes you cry, fear and crave, it all at the same time. I think I can’t listen to another song and I need to eat something, meatballs would be good. So, I go to my favorite comfort food place, Cafe Gitane, to get something that brings me back to life after hearing some bad samples.

I like Cafe Gitane in all possible ways. It has a beautiful outdoor zone, but you can eat at the bar too. It is small and cozy. Sal knows me from a long time ago and at this moment I need some meatballs, urgently. As I get to the place I notice it is packed, it brings me down a little but Sal comes out, hugs me and greets me. This man has saved me when I need to make special meals for people.

“Sal, I’m dying for a meatball dish. I’ve been starving for real food for days.”

He looks around and walks directly to a table where a man is sitting alone, finishing his food. He smiles to Sal and nods.

“Would you mind sharing your table with this gentleman? He’s one of my frequent costumers, so you’re safe.” He says with a wink.

“No problem” I answer motivated more by hunger than anything else.

The gentleman stands up and makes a polite salutation. It’s been so long since I’ve seen someone so well mannered, he’s also well dressed with a dark suit, a wool vest, white shirt, no tie and dark glasses. Too elegant for a simple meal. He’s still concentrated with his avocado toast as I try to look for my phone in my bag, evidently, I can’t seem to find it.

Armand, my beloved waiter comes with the meatballs and my mint iced tea. They know me well enough. And a coffee for my silent companion.

“Your coffee Mr Kessler.” He says as he leaves the cup on the table. He makes an approving gesture. “And for you, my dear Natalie, your favorite food, as usual”.

“I love you, Armand, you’re the best”

Then I am alone again with Mr Kessler. Why does his last name sounds so familiar to me? With this crowded city… Is that my phone? Oh no, it is his phone. He, so polite and posh picks up without hurry.

“Hello… Yes, it’s me Daniel… No I don’t think I can make it today…”

I stop listening and get lost in the name. Daniel Kessler. As I look at my first meatball and I’m about to taste it, I get it: I’ve seen that name at home, in the HBO's  Six Feet Under’s soundtrack. Some ‘Daniel Kessler’ was the one who made one of my favorite soundtracks and there’s the possibility I might be eating in front of him. He hangs up the phone and goes back to his coffee as he takes out a book. It is now or never.

“Mr Kessler…”

He looks me through his dark shades, evidently, he seems annoyed because I distracted him from his reading, bad start, but I have no choice.

“Are you the same Daniel Kessler from Six Feet Under? The musician?”

I feel how he examines me from head to toe and I’m not precisely in one of my best days because when I’m listening or reading I take out my comfy flats, fix my hair in a ponytail and take out my purse.

“Yes, it’s me”.

“I’m Natalie Weiner” I say as I take a napkin to clean my face, trying not to make a mess and then I extend my hand as I speak “I’m a theater producer”.

Is he doubting about it? He shakes my hand in the coldest but most polite way he can and takes a sip of his coffee. He’s able to go back to his book, so I have to interrupt him again.

“I’m in this project and I’m looking for a musician who’s looking for a professional challenge”

As I speak he never takes off his eyes from the book, but I start seeing he’s uncomfortable, I think… Is he drinking his coffee faster? This can’t get worse.

“I loved your work in Six Feet Under and I want to make you a proposal.”

I look for my card in my purse. I take too much time because as I look for it, he’s done with his coffee and he’s standing up. Here it is! I extend my hand with it as he is ready to leave. He looks at me and he takes the card by mere politeness. 

“I’m not interested in any project at the moment. But thank you for your offer”

I have to catch him somehow, it might be a great chance.

“Please, let me buy you another coffee so I can…”

“I’m sorry, I have another appointment”

And, careless he turns his back and goes to the cashier to pay. I’m astonished, I think this was the most polite but also dry way someone’s ever said “no” to me. I haven’t received that answer much. I give one last glance to Mr Kessler, from afar he looks smaller and thinner, he must not be taller than 5.5 ft. If he didn’t wear suit I’d think he’s a 15 year old.

Once I find my smartphone I Google Daniel Kessler. I find a professor in Stanford and then I find a review in Domino Records webpage: he’s got the most incredible CV and he’s worked with amazing artists as Alex Turner and Alex Kapranos, both, pampered guys from Domino. And this man didn’t let me invite him a coffee.

“What did you do to Daniel Kessler?” Sal asks as he sits where my silent companion was. “He left, almost ran away from here. I must admit he’s not very sociable”

“Nothing Sal, I wish I could’ve talked to him.”

I like challenges and maybe Mr Kessler is the right musician for my Lady Macbeth. My next step is write to Marcus, my contact in Domino to see what I can get from this man. Frustrated I eat another meatball, it bothers me not to get what I want. 

__________________________________________________________________________

**Bianca**

I wish I had the chance to ever stop and not feel this anxious when I’m not doing anything, I can’t do it physically. So, here I am, running trying to be on time to a rehearsal but before I had to meet the author of the strange play I’m going to be in. James is his name, I have to remember that, curiously the thing I remember most is his voice and his eyes more than his name, title or anything. 

The 721 Broadway building is one of my favorite places, probably because Greenwich Village has always felt like home. I enter the building and see James in the lobby, waiting. He’s wearing this brown jacket that makes him look like a detective, still, underneath I see a tie, white shirt and his usual jeans. What’s with men and ties I wonder… 

“James!” I say as I walk towards him, he smiles broadly and waves his hand.

“Bianca, is great to see you” As I get close to kiss him on the cheek he seems a little bit uneasy. It is my fault, a tradition tells me to say hello kissing people, some still don’t get used to it and I never remember that I should stop doing that.

“Sorry for being a little late, where I live now is a little bit away from here. I hope to find a new place closer.”

“Don’t worry, I was chatting to students…” I do admire professors, all their patience and devotion. I could never do anything like that. They are so settled, with roots to the ground. And me? I can’t stop, I run around, like a nomad.

“So! What’s cooking at the Loewe?” He called me to be here, I still don’t have any idea what it all was for. He smiles and takes out a small card.

“I have the most incredible news. Natalie Weiner is gonna be the producer of the play, she wants to have a meeting with us so we can talk about the project.” Heaven on earth, is this serious?

“Are you kidding me? Weiner? Like… really? This is more awesome than… Awesome!” He sounded as excited as me, I think I added a little overdramatic tone, I can’t control my emotions and they overcome my body sometimes, I was even shaking. Natalie Weiner the daughter of Lior Weiner. Unbelievable. 

“I guess I’m not the one who got over excited” He added with a nervous laughter. He looked down at the card. 

“Well I can’t wait to begin. When and where are we meeting?” 

“She will give me a call today to arrange the details.” He gives me the card, I keep it in my hectic bag. I hope I don’t lose it. 

“Fantastic! I can’t wait. Then, you’ll let me know right? I wouldn’t miss it for the world”. This is so big. This might be the chance to change my life a little, to finally do something that matters.

“I will give you a call. What are you doing now? Do you fancy a coffee across the street?” His invitation sounds tempting, I’d like to know more about his idea for the play and I also want to ask him why did he have ME in mind for such a role. But I can’t. I’m already late to rehearsal and Daniel is going to kill me if I don’t get there. 

“That’s very sweet of you but I can’t, I have this thing to get to and I get the feeling that Daniel already wants to kill me, I’m late.” I get close to him and could not help myself, I hug him tight, everything’s been good news since I met this man. I’m so grateful. He didn’t expect me to hug him but I hear laughter and he hugs me back.

“Don’t worry”

“You’re awesome James McAvoy, thank you very much. I’ll wait for your call” I put my glasses on get ready to go. I wave back at him as he stands there smiling and waving back. 

****

I got late to the theater, I don’t see Daniel around, which is not a bad thing but indeed a weird one, the man knows punctuality and is a mean machine of it. After a little while, they say that the rehearsal has been canceled because they will make some arrangements on the stage and blah blah blah… I sit on the chairs with another girl, Michelle, to start practicing our lines, the tricky parts, then I see Daniel coming in. I need to tell him about the reunion with the producer, he will finally see that things happen for a reason; let’s say that he’s not a believer in fate, well, I am and I’m pretty sure all of this is happening for a reason. I excuse myself with Michelle for a second and walk towards him, he seems a little bit annoyed.

“They called off the rehearsal,”

“I just noticed, I canceled an appointment for this.” His frustrated voice tells me he’s not only annoyed because of this. Or maybe he is, sometimes he whines for the sake of whining. 

“But I have great news! Remember I told you about this play and this scriptwriter I met a while ago?”

“Yes…” He’s not paying much attention, he is just looking around, annoyed. He is never there when he doesn’t want to be.

“Well, the producer is Natalie Weiner! Can you believe that?! Natalie Fucking Weiner. This is so big…” Once again I get carried away by the emotion and start speaking like crazy I do think he can barely understand me.

“Natalie Weiner?”

“Yes, Natalie Weiner, come on, you don’t know about her? She made this WONDERFUL project with her had and they even got Rick Rubin to work with them. Rick Fucking Rubin. Those big names in the industry and I’m gonna be working with her… I just can’t” In the middle of my monolog I see Daniel frowning and taking out something from his pocket, looks like a card. I get close and take it from his hand, swiftly. Now comes the death stare.

“This is… how the hell did you get her card?!”

“She approached me at the Gitane today… She made an offer, to make the arrangements and music for a play. I told her I’m not interested in taking any projects by now.” This man can get the worst and the best of me sometimes. Is he fucking kidding me? Saying no to such a person? “Did they really work with Rick Rubin?”

“The project was awarded, sold out and really acclaimed. Press was all around.” 

“I’m not sure.” He rolls his eyes and gives me that look like saying ‘you little girl have no idea of the world either’. Well, at least I have a social life and meet people… even when they don’t stay around for much. 

“You bastard!” This is unbelievable. “You’re the only person I know who dares to say no to a Weiner.”

“Why?” He’s still in that ‘dignified’ position, I’d say he’s cockier than I thought. 

“This can mean a major success, like… the biggest breakthrough in your career! It’s like stepping next to John Williams, theatrically speaking.” Okay, John Williams wasn’t the best reference but I had to make the point. “Rubin knew they were good and bet it all on it… and you’re not”.  I can be persuasive when I want, but it is hard to make it work with Daniel, it reminds me of the day I finally convinced him to go to The Kills concert. He didn’t regret it. He should give me that, when I really try I don’t make a mistake.

“Um…” He’s there, passing his hands through his face, worried, thinking, nervous… I don’t know. 

“I think you should take one risk in your life, grab this little card, call the woman and say ‘Yes, I do’” I pass the card in front of his eyes and hand it back to him. I stare at him, expectant for his reaction.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daniel accepts an invitation and James is puzzled about the whole meeting thing...

** Natalie **

_ “Dear natalie, _

_ I’m always happy about receiving your mails. I know you’ve been busy and I noticed the reviews on the Midtown, sheer success. I’d given anything to be there but working here at Domino is insane. _

_ You wrote to me asking about Daniel Kessler and you were so short that you barely told me you had a project in mind. Your first independent project! Of course, I will help you, I have helpful information that I will try to resume in three ways: good, bad and excellent. _

_ The Good: I know who Kessler is. He is a fantastic musician and a guitar genius. He worked with several artists as you saw in the webpage. What I can tell you is that they adore him, and seriously, I never saw them loving so much a musician. They say he is really talented and always fills up the expectations, always going beyond them. _

_ The Bad: producers hate him. When someone suggests Kessler they think twice about it but in the end they accept him because of his talent. The reason is that he is a little hard to get along with. A friend told me that when she worked with him, he was really hermetic and critic. He is famous by testing the producer until he is convinced… sometimes he even gets them tired. But, everyone agrees on saying he is a gentleman and it is complicated to see him happy, and you know that’s the hardest part. He doesn’t go to meetings that much, and never plays live, he sends his demos. Forget about press, he’s never given an interview in his life. _

_ My friend tells me that it is better to leave him alone and on his own. He is incredibly punctual with deliveries, which is amazing in this business. But working with someone that doesn’t say what he thinks is hard, you never know what’s on his head and it is not easy at all.  _

_ The excellent: if there is someone you have to work with is him, you’re perfect. Everyone in the industry knows that you got to manage Rubin, and that is hard to get. Your father left you that task and he did it on purpose. When Rubin came to Domino he said he missed you… or something like that. If you made it with Rubin, Kessler will be a piece of cake, I don’t think he’s a bad person, he’s just not that social.  _

_ I’m sending you his email, was the only thing I could get, it is complicated to find information regarding him, I’m sending you a demo too, my friend managed to get it, he sent it here once, I think you need to hear more of his work, it is a little hard to digest. _

_ I remember the the time when we worked with your dad, managing the public relations for Weiner was one of the best experiences I’ve ever had. And you, I wait for you here in London. _

_ Marcus” _

I look through the window and I see the cars passing, this city never sleeps. Everyone outside seems to have a life and I think most of them think that Natalie Weiner has a life. And yes, I do have ONE. I’m just a theater producer. When I’m just Natalie, I’m no one. Sometimes I’m a daughter, sister and I love to be aunt. But when I’m a woman, or even when I try to be a friend, I see those spots empty. That’s why I’m sitting in the couch of my home, watching the world and the time pass, lonely.

I’m used to loneliness. There are moments when you really need to be lonely, look inside and have quality time with yourself. But I must admit sometimes I’d like to get rid of it, and that someone calls himself/herself my friend and gets me a coffee, have a chat about life. Marcus was one of the few friends I had before starting to work seriously, way before I started feeling that people just get close because of my last name. He grew up with me, working with me and his friendship was a relief until he left to London.

Silence gets me out of my thoughts. It is the third time I listen to Daniel Kessler’s demo and I want to keep on listening to it. As his guitar plays again, I think why did he choose an Eric Clapton’s song to show what he does best. It is not an exact version of the song, I can perceive a different style, his signature, but there is something I can’t identify. Lonely Stranger is one of my favorite songs, that’s why in my mind my voice sings it and goes with Kessler’s guitar. This demo has no voice track.

_Cause I'm a lonely stranger here,  
_ _Well beyond my day.  
_ _And I don’t know what’s goin on,  
_ _So I’ll be on my way._

It might be a good explanation for all the things Marcus says about Kessler. Maybe he’s a lonely being who doesn’t like to relate to people. I wish I could have that wish of not relating to anybody, enjoy being alone, but I’m different from that “Lonely stranger” and I’d like to have someone by my side and the worst thing is that as time goes by I find it harder to relate to others.

Why do I spend so much time thinking about Daniel Kessler? I know I can get another musician. In fact, the only door that I have open is the musical one, but there is something I like. It is obvious that I liked to read from Marcus that he was talented and that he puts a lot of effort in his work, but I did like him not to recognize me at the Cafe Gitane the other day, when I told him my name. It is good to be me, even when I don’t know what to do. 

I look through the window again, another lonely Sunday. Now I wonder, why am I going after a ghost? I should be speaking to record companies and look for more possibilities. It is the tenth time I hear Kessler’s version of Lonely Stranger. I will stop it. I hear a strange sound, it is the alarm of my mail box. When I was about to stop the demo and look for another musician a message appears. 

_ “Natalie.  _

_ It’s Daniel Kessler. You approached me at the Cafe Gitane and you said you had a proposal. Bianca Lowe told me about your work and she also mentioned about the meeting you will have with her and the writer. Tell Bianca the time and the day and I will be there to hear your offer.” _

I’m in awe. Who is Bianca Lowe? I think she might be James’ actress, but still, this is strange. Add to that the fact that I’d never gotten such a short, challenging message. I think he’s starting to measure me, dealing with this kind of situation and dealing with what I do best, I feel no fear. If Mr Kessler wants to listen to me I’ll have to say a lot to convince him. I must call the Tisch and I must tell James to get ready.

I’d like to discover, in the dark,  what’s under Mr Kessler’s layers. 

__________________________________________________________________

**Bianca**

When I pack I get rid of lots of things that I don’t need, that I needed but could never find or things that I didn’t remember I had. If you want to take a look at my head you just have to take a look at the place I live right now: A small room, with few furniture, but a nice one, most of it vintage. Everything is surrounded by books, scripts, cds, and movies. It all scattered around in the coffee table, the couch I can barely sit on and the library that’s all messed up. It is not “in order” but it is tidy. I don’t live in a junk house, come on.

I know I should be more organized but I always misplace things, forget where I left them or just lose them, probably that’s why I don’t get attached easily, things come and go in my life, just as people. If we compare things with people, I think I’ve had more constant stuff than people. The issue is this: Normally, I’m a joyful person but when the “disease” attacks, it all goes to hell. I think it is time to create more awareness about it, it is not that we are paranoid people who have no goals in life, it is just hard to get focused and you can’t help it because it is related with your mind, your brain. Who can fight that? People never stay, they just run away, leave you or never return your calls and all that depressing jazz. That I can recall the only remaining people in my life are my eldest brother who’s in South Africa and Daniel, I wonder how they managed to stay all this time…

I’m tired, truth to be told. I’ve had this lucky period where everything worked but I see everything crumbling down like a demolition, it started with the fact that I got kicked from this place because my flatmate doesn’t like to see or hear me arrive at 3 or 4 am. It is not every day! It is such a small detail… Now it was the first step, I’m waiting for the second phase of this, because it develops as that, phases. I’m scared, freaking out, I don’t want to lose stability but this… My cell phone starts ringing as I make this internal speech. I look at it, it is James. Thanks for breaking the chain of horrific thoughts coming.

“Jimmy boy” I should stop doing this, I should listen to Daniel and stop calling people names. It just came out of the blue. At least I hear laughter on the other side of the line. “Can I call you Jimmy? No… it sounds strange… Jim? Nah, there’s another Jim…”

“As long as you don’t call me professor, everything’s fine.” I wouldn’t call him professor, he doesn’t have the “teacher” look, even when… Now that I think about it I would’ve been glad of studying with such a handsome professor. But… nah… “How are you Bianca?”

“I’ll get you a nickname in time… I’m fine! Cleaning up, you know… the mess.” No I can’t say I am ranting mentally about my life, boooring!

“Alright, look, Natalie called and told me the strangest thing, she told me to tell you to come to the theater on monday, and that you should tell that to Daniel as well.” He sounded like saying one of those wibbly wobbly timey wimey phrases David Tennant used to say in Doctor who. It amused me, but the thing that impressed me the most was that Daniel accepted! He didn’t want to call and he said he would write to her. I thought it was an excuse.

“Those are great news!”

“Pardon me, but who is Daniel?”

“Oh, Daniel is gonna make the original music for the play. He is this kind of crazy, mysterious and mind-blowing musician… He is A-W-E-S-O-M-E. I can’t believe…” I always get carried away when I speak of something that really gets me. I never run out of compliments when it comes to my friends and Daniel… come on, it is Daniel.

“Oh I see… So, I guess I will meet this talented musician on Monday.”

“Yes you will. At what time?”

“Noon, it is lunch actually. Natalie wants to get down to details of everything…” And his voice started to fade as if he was remembering something dreadful. 

“I’m sure it is going to be great. We’ll be there!”


End file.
